Every plant that enters this house is inspected, sooner or later, by someone qualified to have an opinion. Neither inspector was consulted on hiring.

Entropy's method is procedural. A new arrival on the kitchen counter — this week, a patterned prayer plant and a trailing purple heart — gets a first pass from a respectful distance: ears up, weight back, the posture of someone confirming the situation before committing to it.

Gray and white cat leaning over a kitchen counter to look at a patterned prayer plant and a trailing purple heart plant
The initial assessment. Nothing touched yet.

The assessment does not stay respectful for long. Distance is for confirming that a thing exists; finding out what it actually is requires proximity, and Entropy is thorough about proximity.

Gray and white cat leaning in close to sniff the patterned leaves of a prayer plant
Proximity achieved. The verdict is still pending.

A less impartial reviewer

Zeta's beat is the herb pot in the catio — rosemary and catnip sharing one container, which was either a planting decision or an act of provocation, depending who you ask. Her reviews of the rosemary are measured. Her reviews of the catnip cannot be trusted at all; the inspector has a financial interest in the outcome.

Black long-haired cat reaching up toward a potted catnip and rosemary plant in the catio
A biased review, filed anyway.

Both plants passed. So, for the record, did the inspectors — though only one of them was actually under review.